The Gurgle Syndrome

Social ineptitude is arguably a sort of wide-spread disease. You see it in a wide range of individuals in the geek-nerd-sheltered spectrum. I see  it in a whole lot of people I know, but have never actually been affected by their ineptitude because of my strong Social Butterfly characteristics.
However, what is worth further research is the effect an uncompromisingly awkward situation of a personal nature can have on a usually highly socially "ept" ahem individual.
Like how a Social Butterfly (SB) can be rendered a blundering, silent, boring, morose wall ornament in a singular situation. True story. Said SB could frantically construct amusing little comebacks, little anecdotes, small jokes, intelligent word sparring in the HEAD, debate it again MENTALLY and finally produce from the vocal chords a sort of...gurgle. Or even like a moronic statement that manages to be moronic, offensive and completely non diverting all at one go. It could be seen as a rare feat of sheer awkwardness.
Obviously, the extraneous factors should be taken in to account here-such as the reactions of the other individuals in group, the willingness of the said individuals to interact with SB, the location of the interaction etc.-however, it can be safely hypothesized that at least a good 80% of the resultant stunted  communication is purely the fault of the unadulterated ill mental health of the said Social Butterfly, SB.

Obviously more research is required in this regard. I'm just hypothesizing here. I could be wrong. 

Things that remain unsaid

Corrode from the inside.

Hi dear!

The monsoon has hit Colombo in full force, all rain and gloom and slush. I actually took a break from the (exciting not!) work space and stared at the rain for a while, it was so romantic. Even my counterpart in Sinhala writing agrees, " athi wenne neha" he says, a poetic soul by nature, he says you can't enough of it. It makes you think drippy thoughts and miss people who might be there to share the moment.

Then, I had to step out in to the romance. Rain, slush, mud, whizzing mud whirls vis a vis vehicles, and not a damn tuk in sight. Then,oOne guy actually slowed down next to me...but only to leer "Hi dear!" and whizz off.

Dude, I could have given you business. Fuck you man. That's what I told him too.

The trouble with love

The trouble with it, is that it whether at its best or worst, it tends to overcome you, to the extent that you lose sight of yourself. Your whole vista of thought and perspective fills up with one person, one idea and *bang* you've lost them: ideals, goals, self-motivational-guru-type quotes by Successful People, even, possibly your very carefully preserved mental restraint. Suddenly you're willing to imagine anything, fancy anything, hope for anything that will enhance that sweeping feeling, or just, make it all go away.

At times like this, one of my favourite quotes from possibly my favourite novel springs at me from nowhere, invariably, like a prayer;
" He stood between me and every thought of religion, as an eclipse intervenes between man and the broad sun. I could not, in those days, see God for his creature, of whom I had made an idol"
-Jane Eyre, Charlotte Bronte-

Dangerous at the best of times.

Why you should not necessarily write when angry/depressed

1. Names might come out.
2. It might result in a completely uninteresting-for-anyone-else rant on how much people suck and why the world just needs to die off in general.
3. It might be unnecessary.
4. You could do better.
5. It may result in pure, unadulterated drivel designed to take your mind off your problems, thereby resulting in it being a piece of no literary worth, whatsoever.

Hmm :) Always one to take my own advice :)

Weighty expectations much?

The Big Guy says today that I'm trusted like no one else before. Ideally, I THINK this should pressurize me but also make find some way of furthering my position here but strangely, I feel like someone put a damn paper bag over my head. Air cut off, HOLY SHIT! Aiyo, I just want to write and be loved for it. I'm thankful that I have the chance to do so in some way. Eh?
We had a conversation on writing today, too. It was interesting, Somehow what I feel slipped out, I generally try to keep it reined it, I'm safe like that. I told him that the spiel I generate on a daily basis is not me, that's not personal. What I write here, my poetry, the mumbling that go on in my head as I scrub my feet, that is real. That is me. Everything else is just the smart part of my brain, honed with the help of countless books and thesaurus.com

Write write write!

Like you've never written before!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Discovered a new love for all things written :D