Small wonder :)

Highly inclined though I am to write another piece of "My life sucks so much" (only because it does), I want to write about something that made me inexplicably happy, yesterday;

 I felt a baby kick inside a mother's tummy :D :D

As I write this now, I can feel the little bump and the answering bumpity-bump in my heart. I'm not ashamed to say tears came in to my eyes then, as they do now :) My colleague is almost 6 months down the line now, and is rather heavily pregnant. Being the Strange Experience Whore I am, I've been hounding her ever since she said she felt the baby - it's a girl, they found out thanks to a filter-less doc- kick.
So far, the little imp has been evading me, to the point of stopping entirely when mom comes over to our section because there's so much foetal activity.

Aha, but yesterday I caught the little bugger in the act. My friend complained about how our little friend was kicking up a storm, upon which I did a bit of an experimental pregnant-belly-rub. Nothing. Try again, said my friend. So I did. And holy crap, I felt another, as yet unborn, human being kick feistily inside her mom's tummy!

In the midst of everything ugly we see around us, amid all the unhappiness we happily embrace as Karma, God has a sneaky habit of showing his face in sudden, unexpected moments of wonder in its purest, most iridescent form.

Halleluijah?

I sat down today to study some Puberty and Adolescence. I pushed the digital clock my room-mate and I read the time by every hurried morning two minutes before the bell behind the big plastic bottle of drinking water-which is still is use although it says "CRUSH AFTER USE" in big letters on the label. Distractions thus set aside, we proceeded.

It is a LITTLE hard to concentrate on Lutenizing Hormones and their functions however when yours ears are being veritably ASSAULTED by booming music accomapanied by a voice singing " For the lord is my tower..." or something along those lines. A retreat you see is going on in the college chapel.

Brother Joseph I believe...miraculous victorious.

I could.not.study. I could not think. I listen as the singing segues in to a barrage of voices...Brother's rising voice, magnetic, spell-binding. Accompanying, the gradually rinsing voices of the congregation. Praise you Lord. Thank you Je-sus. Haleluijah. And as I re-write the names of tongue-twisting hormones all over my notes, I can see it. The up-raised hands, the closed hands, that feeling of power trembling through the air and always, ALWAYS, Brother's voice in your head. Creeping through you while the oragn music hammers against your skull. You are powerless. And suddenly it seemed so calculated to me. The rising voice and the matching music. The people blindly responding. Because blind it is, your intellect does not function, you react instinctively like a trained animal to its master's call.

How would I know? I've been there, a very simillar retreat. I only went because I would have got hell ( ha ha) from our hostel warden if I hadn't. And I, the skeptic, felt the same as them. The pain in my side was healed by The Spirit and I as I closed my eyes,trembling because I felt something completely out-worldly, I knew that some thing was going on.

Brother was walking around, going up to the people who seemed a little skeptical, their eyes still open. Let God speak to you he would whisper, give in, give in, my child. And they would. They'd drop in to a damn dead faint right there. All of them, like flies.

I closed my eyes tighter because I did not want that man anywhere near me. Nowhere near me. Because I knew at that moment that if he touched me I would be out. It as frightening, I was terrified. of losing control, of giving in to something I could not by any means explain.

Now I think. What was it? Is it really the spirit. Is it our mind, telling us, do it, give over. Is it brother, the miraculous healer who says don't praise him, it's all Je-sus. Is it just psychosis? What is this faith? And I don't question because I don't believe. I believe in a God who can do miracles. I believe in a God who gave me the mind to ask these questions and this soul which refuses to bend easily.

What I might not strictly believe in are these people. Who might do this today. And tomorrow spurn a beggar or force a Bhuddist to convert if he wants to keep his rented home. That's what I don't believe in.

Phew!

phew! finally on the Blogsphere or whatever the heck it's called. I think I'll dedicate my inaugural post to a number of things. Here goes:

a. new friends.New ideas. New ways to realise what the ef is wrong with you.very supportive.pushes you when required. death threats are delivered and company is offered when you gotta eat lunch alone.

b.love. QUITE complicated BUT life wouldn't be half as fun without it and *heavy corn alert* it does something to you.Quite against your will.

c.Chicken burgers.yummy!

d.Technology. Thank you Thank you GOD for the Internet.

e.Bad jokes. " I'm going to the Loo, coming?".

"No, you go pass Urine, I'll pass". HA HA HA!!

whaa-at?!!!!!!

f. Old friends.They know you and they still wanna hang out with you. AND they're willing to help you drag yourself out of whatever muddle you've landed yourself in.if that isn't a miracle...

g. God. yes I know he's there. I don't know about the eternal kingdom or about the fires of damnation but he's there alright. And right now he's giving me the fish eye.

h.Blueberry Philadelphia Cream Cheesecake. I haven't had thee in along time but Oh! how I miss thee!!