Write write write!

Like you've never written before!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Discovered a new love for all things written :D

People so many people!

The one thing I think I'll always remember about the crazy "taxi" ride through Kolkata-known as Cal to all "Real" Indians-would probably be all the people carrying things on their head. Everyone, everywhere amongst the brightly coloured buses, the children begging on the road, the trams and the people riding on the backs of trucks, is carrying something on their heads.

but maybe I'll also remember the pavement which we got a chance to stare at, seeing as to how the traffic was at a complete standstill. Through the space between the two vehicles next to us, I could see, bananas. Now I come from Sri Lanka, I've seen bananas. I know the quaint image of the bananas hanging in the shop front. But this many bananas! How many bananas! It was an entire pavement covered with a 3-4 foot high mound of bananas and right next to it was a man carrying more bananas on his head!

Or maybe I'll remember the little boy who came to our taxi while stuck in another jam. He was bare-chested and could not have been anywhere above 8 years of age. "Eh didi...Eh didi" he kept saying with a beseeching look that was very,very good. But, we don't give them money right because we know it's wrong and that this is all an organized scheme.

But, Tina had cheese sticks! Sow e gave it to him and off he walked off happy. Looking back we saw him break out into a huge smile as he tasted the first cheese stick! :D

The old building, crumbling and dilapidated, the shouting people, the garish posters of the goddess Durga, the blue buses which look held-together by mere wires, the coolies, the bicycle ricksha-walla, the ACTUAL rickshas, the back of the taxi guys head, the fellow yello ambasador cars next to us, the throng of humanity...all of it is a blur of colour.

I'm glad we didn't take the Volvo from the airport!

Cheshire Cat

This blogggg....has become a diary of self-confused, whiny, pathetic 15-year old. Each and every one of the last posts drip with self-pity and oh what do I do now. This Cheshire Cat is a virtual SLAP. I'm a self-actualized 21-year who deals with situations, not bawls over them.

*MANIC SMILE*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

STOP SMILING… LIFE’S NOT A KODAK MOMENT!

Humility is sometimes a hard-learned lesson. Self-importance on the other hand, very easily acquired and easily maintained by delusions of grandeur and vague recollections of passing compliments. But what on Earth allowed you to mould this fascinating, enigmatic, all powerful image of yourself?!

It’s fascinating in itself how you go from a relatively insignificant and homely human being ( Who might even be described as “mousy!) , surprised that anyone might even think they’re attractive, who faces every compliment with a genuine surprise and shy wonder ( ME? Seriously? Oh-k!) , to a definitely better-looking but totally out-of-proportion person who thinks the world is always watching her?

Maybe it’s that fast zoom from nerd to smart, maybe nerdy but still very cool. Maybe be it’s the transition from being relegated to watching the “beautiful” people, only watching, never part of them, to actually kind of a beautiful person. You’re finally in a position in life to be able to look and them and LAUGH, not just stand by and ogle like some bloody waif at a baker’s window.

Suddenly, you’re supposed to be everything to everybody, especially that one person. Egged on by compliments…how great you look, how smart you are, how very many friends you have, pushed on by great results at everything you do. Freudian Ego puffs it chest like a Testosterone-injected rooster among a group of willing hens.

And soon everything’s about you. Everyone’s worrying about your welfare and everyone’s watching every separate move you make with bated breath. Everything you do academically is a guaranteed success and whatever you write is brilliant. Small failures, glaring mediocrities go ignored-they don’t even make a noticeable dent in the sturdy Ego.

It takes a surprise defeat from an unexpected flank to make you realise that the Universe is not going to wait watching for your very foolish vanities.

Grabbing at straws

Serrating my fingers

Leaving them cut open

And raw, red,

Skin peeling off.

The strings of despair

Threats of chances slipping

Away.

Gripping harder

In a pathetic effort

To retrieve,

Bring back

The Perpetual Yesterday

Of yellow suns

and light.

Crumble Pie

Life crumbles
Very slowly around you
A gradual process
It transforms from
Unfairly perfect to
Ugly.
Polluted with pacifying
Half-truths
And the forced smiles
Of civility.
But the will stands resolute.
Because even when
You have none
For in the end our
Journey
Is a solo drive,
You have yourself
And you're damn good enough
For yourself.

Natural pessimism?

It must be my natural pessimism, Although I believe very much in optimism and I preach it to all those people who see the glass as being half empty.
Every time I'm on my way home from a REALLY good time, the kind of good time which makes for memories you talk about years later, in conversation starting with " hey you remember that time when we went to...",l I think of how soon, it'll come to an end.

This is life after all. if everything was one, big happy holiday, the point would be lost and I wouldn't even be able to enjoy what i can't have all the time. But life gets so complicating so FAST, it's like a flash of lightning leaving you with this fading feeling of forgotten euphoria, and a burnt ass that you have to deal with.

Geez.