I've been thinking of writing for a while now...what with new jobs and life changes and adjusting yourself to where it takes you, sometimes writing simple things become a bit of a task. But today, busy Friday that it is, it's just hit me that I have to write about being yourself, and being happy about that.
It seems like every inspirational quote and FB meme begins with some variation of "Be yourself and be happy" etc. etc. etc. and many convoluted, motivational twists on it. But that's not technically what I'm ranting on about. It's about being comfortable with yourself.
As someone who isn't entirely comfortable with myself, but is getting there, I have always envied people who don't need other people -- in the most elemental sense. Theses are people who are so comfortable with their own personalities (and idiosyncrasies) and so devoted to their life purposes that, although they enjoy healthy relationships,they don't seem to depend on them.
Although I firmly believe in the power of harmonious relationships and values relating to family, friends and love, etc., somehow I become increasingly aware of the fact that dependence for happiness, stability and SANITY more than anything else, depends on the self and how the self is prepared to handle Life. And this is not a spin on a feminist "I-don't-need-a-man-to-make-me-happy"ideal, it is stick-up-in-your-face fact. It means that even if you surround yourself with good, kind, loving people, you avoid the latching-on that humans are so prone to. This seems to translate into avoidng expectations, but I think expectations are fair, and human. What IS silly is to always the need the reassurance of another body to feel complete, or happy or safe or important.
This would mean that your're happy with yourself and your rationalisation of life, and that you count on yourself, not because you've lost faith in humanity but because you've come to the understanding that
a. You don't need to justify yourself to anyone
b. There's no one really better than you
c. What better person is there to deal with your mental well-being, than yourself!
Phew! So, like my strong women friends say, take a walk by yourself, enjoy music on your own, do your work well and without constantly needing approval, achieve what you have to because you want to and not because you owe it to someone else and, if you have balls, big ones, do something really crazy, like watching a movie by yourself or heading out to a dinner for one a at your favourite place :) Who knows, in your travails through your Self, you might surprise yourself ;)
It seems like every inspirational quote and FB meme begins with some variation of "Be yourself and be happy" etc. etc. etc. and many convoluted, motivational twists on it. But that's not technically what I'm ranting on about. It's about being comfortable with yourself.
As someone who isn't entirely comfortable with myself, but is getting there, I have always envied people who don't need other people -- in the most elemental sense. Theses are people who are so comfortable with their own personalities (and idiosyncrasies) and so devoted to their life purposes that, although they enjoy healthy relationships,they don't seem to depend on them.
Although I firmly believe in the power of harmonious relationships and values relating to family, friends and love, etc., somehow I become increasingly aware of the fact that dependence for happiness, stability and SANITY more than anything else, depends on the self and how the self is prepared to handle Life. And this is not a spin on a feminist "I-don't-need-a-man-to-make-me-happy"ideal, it is stick-up-in-your-face fact. It means that even if you surround yourself with good, kind, loving people, you avoid the latching-on that humans are so prone to. This seems to translate into avoidng expectations, but I think expectations are fair, and human. What IS silly is to always the need the reassurance of another body to feel complete, or happy or safe or important.
This would mean that your're happy with yourself and your rationalisation of life, and that you count on yourself, not because you've lost faith in humanity but because you've come to the understanding that
a. You don't need to justify yourself to anyone
b. There's no one really better than you
c. What better person is there to deal with your mental well-being, than yourself!
Phew! So, like my strong women friends say, take a walk by yourself, enjoy music on your own, do your work well and without constantly needing approval, achieve what you have to because you want to and not because you owe it to someone else and, if you have balls, big ones, do something really crazy, like watching a movie by yourself or heading out to a dinner for one a at your favourite place :) Who knows, in your travails through your Self, you might surprise yourself ;)
Just happened upon your blog, so hope you don't mind me leaving a comment. Firstly, its nice to see an eloquent blog with thought provoking content, so kudos!:)
ReplyDeleteSecondly, although I'm not a female, I have indeed 1) Watched a movie by myself, 2) Had a "meal for one" (although it wasn't for dinner!;)). Let me tell you though, the down side to being too self aware and completely comfortable with yourself is that you end up being an outsider. I say that because you suddenly stop being able to relate to everyone else who are still reaching for those things (or are blissfully unaware of its existence), because lets face it- that would be the majority of the population. Just thought I'd add that to this, just to give you the flip side of the coin as it were.
Hello :) Ahhh, point. A very valid one at that. And kudos on the movie (still not developed the balls for that :P) I see what you mean, and how it would be difficult to relate. Ideally, I suppose one could just exist in the "bubble", but living as we do in society...hum. Point to ponder.
ReplyDeleteAh! Where are my manners?? Hello!:)
ReplyDeleteAs much as I;m tempted to reply, this would probably become a lengthy discussion, so I shall leave it at that!;)
Also, if you enjoy the "Deeper end of the pool" (if you get my drift), and also if you can stomach my somewhat verbose writing style, there are a few posts which might interest you on my blog- dragonsye.blospot.com . Avoid any posts related to emotions though, just trust me on that!;)